I read a fair amount of psychology /self improvement literature and I’ve mentioned before how I consider myself a bit of a self help junkie. However there is a such thing as going overboard with it and a number of gurus and talking heads you’ll come across online are definetley capable of taking the idea of self improvement way too far.
My friend Rob calls it ‘the endless pursuit of tech’. The idea that becoming a better you is not only possible but hey… it should be easy. Tech refers to exactly the kind of stuff I love and the core ideas behind this blog. Think NLP, Tony Buzan, Lucid Dreaming, Meditation, all tools to change your consciousness, change your state, and eventually change your life conditions. Psychological devices that are designed to make the transition easy… like pressing send in your inbox.
Well in this post, I want to talk about something totally different than Tech… I want to talk about the opposite of tech. Good ole’ willpower.
Plain old fashion just doing it. I know it seems almost too simple to even write about.
Today at work I found myself engaging in an ancient piece of human communication technology called ‘talk radio’. Just one minute of talk radio commercials will hammer it into your head how much of a million dollar industry self improvement tech has really become. There’s an easy way to do everything now a days. There’s an easy way to loose weight, to become a millionaire, get out of debt, meet women. There is a special little gimmick around every corner that offers you the magic cure. Are there easier answers out there? or is this kind of marketing just creating the impression in alot of peoples minds that self improvement techniques are all bunk and the only people who succeed are those with success in their genes?
I’m afraid the answer, like many answers in life, is neither black or white. There is alot of great techniques out there, hopefully you’ve already read about some of them here on the site, but what about the no-technique approach? What if for some of us… the reliance on ideas and philosophies about HOW to “do it” is the very thing that keeps us from the simple doing of it.
Many people thinking having information is a good thing. having techniques means your equipped. You hear therapists and self help gurus of all shades saying things like ‘ you need to understand your problem clearly, you need to become aware of the situation, visualize success, change your modalities’ all great advice, for certain things and certian people. But here are strong cases that occur in real life, and often times having a knowledge of different change modalities like NLP or something will obscure the clarity of purpose a person has about reaching a goal, when they are waiting until they feel like it to make that next leap.
Over thinking can occur.
One of the important aspects of living the life of constant improvement is being able to push yourself to make an attempt even when you have a very slim chance of success.
You’re building the Do It habit.
The Do It habit is basically the simplest form of self improvement philosophy ever.
Most of us at some point or another do make a decision to do something different with our lives. Perhaps we’re a bit over weight, maybe we’re in debt, whatever it is… we decide one night and emphatically declare to ourselves that we are going to make a change now. How often do we make that first decision under the influence of strong emotions? How often do you wake up the next day to begin your new habit or your new pattern and find that the subsequent individual choices you have to make after the emotional honey moon wears off is part of the challenge?
Its easy to commit to quitting smoking when your aunt gets emphezema. But a week or two down the road when your work buddies are stepping outside to smoke, those neural pathways will light right back up. The emotional state that made your decision to quit so clear now seems hazy… and its not such a big deal if you don’t stick to it… or just have one… you can always start again tomorrow…
Discipline in certain circles has a muddied meaning it’s started to aquire alot of negative associations with it. There’s a growing idea that a person can only conquer a fear by getting over that fear mentally first. Or a person can achieve a goal only by visually believing that they can do it. The do it habit is way different in this respect.
Its about doing it even when you don’t think you can, and even when you don’t feel like it.
Out of the comfort zone and into the sky.
When you start on day one of any new goal or task its easy to get daunted thinking about all the decisions that your going to have to make a head of you. If your starting to hit the gym and get in better shape then you know its not just about making the initial decision to sign up, but making the decision every single day to put one foot in front of the other and go… whether you feel like it or not. You won’t get your perfect body in the first visit… but what you do get is a positive reference experience.
The more you see yourself doing what you want to be doing, the more you believe in your ability to do it. It never occurs to classically trained pianists from a very early age how amazing their skills are because they have no reference experience to what its like to NOT be good at playing piano.
Likewise many people who begin a new habit, or try to break an old reoccuring fear will have only negative reference experiences at first and its important to force yourself, against your own comfort, in order to achieve that first taste of success. Momentum is the key word here… like attracts like. But the only way to get out of a really serious funk is to stop perpetuating the idea that your failing… force yourself to take one step in the right direction every day. Eventually it will become so easy you won’t even need to think about it anymore… goals will accomplish themselves, all you need to do is prove you’re worthy of the challenges and just do it.
Related reading on the web:
Just Do It – another post with some tips for doing it. Remember the key is action without over-thinking though!
Self Acceptance Vs. Self Growth – A great post by Steve Pavlina about the line between accepting yourself for who you are and pushing yourself to new levels of growth.
Pushing yourself to the Limit – The story of a man who pushed himself physically and mentally to run his first triathlon with only 32 days of training.
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-Chris
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