I read a fair amount of psychology /self improvement literature and I’ve mentioned before how I consider myself a bit of a self help junkie. However there is a such thing as going overboard with it and a number of gurus and talking heads you’ll come across online are definetley capable of taking the idea of self improvement way too far.
My friend Rob calls it ‘the endless pursuit of tech’. The idea that becoming a better you is not only possible but hey… it should be easy. Tech refers to exactly the kind of stuff I love and the core ideas behind this blog. Think NLP, Tony Buzan, Lucid Dreaming, Meditation, all tools to change your consciousness, change your state, and eventually change your life conditions. Psychological devices that are designed to make the transition easy… like pressing send in your inbox.
Well in this post, I want to talk about something totally different than Tech… I want to talk about the opposite of tech. Good ole’ willpower.
Plain old fashion just doing it. I know it seems almost too simple to even write about.
Today at work I found myself engaging in an ancient piece of human communication technology called ‘talk radio’. Just one minute of talk radio commercials will hammer it into your head how much of a million dollar industry self improvement tech has really become. There’s an easy way to do everything now a days. There’s an easy way to loose weight, to become a millionaire, get out of debt, meet women. There is a special little gimmick around every corner that offers you the magic cure. Are there easier answers out there? or is this kind of marketing just creating the impression in alot of peoples minds that self improvement techniques are all bunk and the only people who succeed are those with success in their genes?
I’m afraid the answer, like many answers in life, is neither black or white. There is alot of great techniques out there, hopefully you’ve already read about some of them here on the site, but what about the no-technique approach? What if for some of us… the reliance on ideas and philosophies about HOW to “do it” is the very thing that keeps us from the simple doing of it.
Many people thinking having information is a good thing. having techniques means your equipped. You hear therapists and self help gurus of all shades saying things like ‘ you need to understand your problem clearly, you need to become aware of the situation, visualize success, change your modalities’ all great advice, for certain things and certian people. But here are strong cases that occur in real life, and often times having a knowledge of different change modalities like NLP or something will obscure the clarity of purpose a person has about reaching a goal, when they are waiting until they feel like it to make that next leap.
Over thinking can occur.
One of the important aspects of living the life of constant improvement is being able to push yourself to make an attempt even when you have a very slim chance of success.
You’re building the Do It habit.
The Do It habit is basically the simplest form of self improvement philosophy ever.
Most of us at some point or another do make a decision to do something different with our lives. Perhaps we’re a bit over weight, maybe we’re in debt, whatever it is… we decide one night and emphatically declare to ourselves that we are going to make a change now. How often do we make that first decision under the influence of strong emotions? How often do you wake up the next day to begin your new habit or your new pattern and find that the subsequent individual choices you have to make after the emotional honey moon wears off is part of the challenge?
Its easy to commit to quitting smoking when your aunt gets emphezema. But a week or two down the road when your work buddies are stepping outside to smoke, those neural pathways will light right back up. The emotional state that made your decision to quit so clear now seems hazy… and its not such a big deal if you don’t stick to it… or just have one… you can always start again tomorrow…
Discipline in certain circles has a muddied meaning it’s started to aquire alot of negative associations with it. There’s a growing idea that a person can only conquer a fear by getting over that fear mentally first. Or a person can achieve a goal only by visually believing that they can do it. The do it habit is way different in this respect.
Its about doing it even when you don’t think you can, and even when you don’t feel like it.
Out of the comfort zone and into the sky.
When you start on day one of any new goal or task its easy to get daunted thinking about all the decisions that your going to have to make a head of you. If your starting to hit the gym and get in better shape then you know its not just about making the initial decision to sign up, but making the decision every single day to put one foot in front of the other and go… whether you feel like it or not. You won’t get your perfect body in the first visit… but what you do get is a positive reference experience.
The more you see yourself doing what you want to be doing, the more you believe in your ability to do it. It never occurs to classically trained pianists from a very early age how amazing their skills are because they have no reference experience to what its like to NOT be good at playing piano.
Likewise many people who begin a new habit, or try to break an old reoccuring fear will have only negative reference experiences at first and its important to force yourself, against your own comfort, in order to achieve that first taste of success. Momentum is the key word here… like attracts like. But the only way to get out of a really serious funk is to stop perpetuating the idea that your failing… force yourself to take one step in the right direction every day. Eventually it will become so easy you won’t even need to think about it anymore… goals will accomplish themselves, all you need to do is prove you’re worthy of the challenges and just do it.
Related reading on the web:
Just Do It – another post with some tips for doing it. Remember the key is action without over-thinking though! Self Acceptance Vs. Self Growth – A great post by Steve Pavlina about the line between accepting yourself for who you are and pushing yourself to new levels of growth. Pushing yourself to the Limit – The story of a man who pushed himself physically and mentally to run his first triathlon with only 32 days of training.
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There’s a been a lot of talking, blogging, etc. recently about hacks and tweaks we can use to get more out of, and have more control over our time and our lives, but I think there’s something to be said for being out of control, sometimes. Not running a muck in the streets, but rather appreciating the times where we don’t have that much sought after control over our time and place.
One example I can think of would be just a week or so ago when I crossed the country to see the Florida side of my family. Flying there to meet them presented an opportunity to abandon the illusion of complete control. Once I began my journey I gave up my control over my time and place. I had made the choices that brought me to that improbable seat, blazing across the sky at a few hundred miles an hour.
But once in the sky I was completely at the will of circumstance. In reality happened much earlier. Upon entering the airport my rights were waved and my control was relinquished. Even earlier than that I was on the shuttle to the airport where my fate was largely dictated by the driver and even to some extent by the state of other drivers around and for miles ahead of us. My helplessness didn’t ever enter into my mind, I just read comfortably and enjoyed the fact I didn’t have to keep my eyes on the road or sky. Even waiting in the airport I felt free, sick of watching news, but I had no obligations, none I could fulfill anyway. I couldn’t really even get any work done.
Certain situations readily allow me to give up that control, and really relax. During my delightful trip I missed a connection and became waylaid in the Atlanta airport, what’s that old joke… “when you die, no matter if you’re going to heaven or hell you still have to go through the Atlanta airport.”, anyway, I had hours and hours to watch cable news and drink coffee before the next connecting flight. I saw a lot of people in a similar situation, some people seemed to be enjoying it as much as I was, others hated it. They paced, pestered the poor gate attendant, made phone calls to loved ones and acquaintances to lament and modify plans, and still got to where ever they were going at the same time the calmer passengers did. Maybe thay had more pressing plans, maybe they were on the run, but most likely they just really WANTED to get to their destination and hated the inconvenience, and loathed not being able to do anything about it.
Here’s a delay much worse than mine.
Relinquishing this power is illuminating, if not even enjoyable. Not enjoyable because I’m a masochist or because I like waiting in lobbies in strange cities, but rather it was an agreeable exercise in giving up control over my time and place to some extent. Being productive means allotting time for work, creativity, family, and yourself. That You time is time to be out of control, to do that responsibly we have to have the rest of our time managed to some extent. I talked about this a bit in “Externalize Your Mind”, being ‘on’ 24/7 is neither healthy nor a productive long term paradigm. There are many other times all though out our day when we don’t have complete self determination, at work, on the road, and if we are at our core uncomfortable with that fact, we are crippled in our efforts to enjoy and get the most out of life.
When to give in:
When things are automated. If the gears are running, ie. the wing are being de-iced or what have you, experts are on the job. Automation can also refer to when your plan is made, hatched, and you could sit, sweat and tweak it, or you can let it go. Another example is when you have that goal in your mind, the seeds have been planted, and all you can do is stay on course and watch what happens. Trust the actions and choices you have made to bring you to this point. You can evaluate them, but sweating over them is useless.
Traps:
The Illusions of Imprisonment – Sometimes we think we have no control when in reality we have willfully given up that power. If one hates their job or where they live and consider themselves “stuck”, they are usually free to go and improve their situation at will, but are to afraid to leave their self-constructed prison, unless it really is prision. The unincarcerated have alot of freedom to un-stick themselves.
This young man is a sad example of theimprisonment illusion, please excuse the harsh language at the end.
False Productivity: Distracting ourselves with the illusion of productivity by doing anything we think might have an effect instead of doing the things that matter. Sometimes when we have no control because we HAVE TO focus on one thing, and I am guilty of this, we do every little thing we can to excercise some control, like the passengers who berate the attendance when no one can get the plane moving any faster.
So when in life do we have any control at all? We have to make the decision to get out of bed. There is no easier way to do that then when we can being present in your moment and enjoying it. In one way or another we are all stuck in our moment and when can realize that every moment is equally important we can accept our time and place not as compulsory but rather the result of a string of conscious choices we have made and become ok with having made them.
ìYou see a pile of stones and fail to see the mountains. The marvelous thing about miniature landscape gardens is that they are imitations of mountains and streams. The base is made to look flowing waves and the cliffs are made to seem covered with vegetation. Sometimes you can see miniature gnarled pine or knobby plum. You might see unusual blossoms or strange new shoots from their trimmed branches.îÖ ìThese stones then, just a number of inches tall, and this tray roughly a foot across, they are nothing short of a mountainous island rising from the sea! Jade-green peaks penetrate the clouds and are encircled by them. A blue-green barrier, immersed in water, is standing straight up. There are caves as if carved in the cliff sides to hide saints and immortals. Jetties and spits flat enough and long enough for fishermen. The paths and roads are narrow and confined, yet woodcutters can pass along them. There are lagoons deep and dark enough to hide dragons.î
An excerpt from the rhyme prose that sums up the philosophy of Bonsai as well as a mindful perspective one can take when dealing with daily life. Today I was thinking of the garden weíre building in our front yard, Iím really looking forward to the chance to get my hands into the dirt, and take the time to converse with plants, bring vegetables out of the soil, and contemplate our exchange. In the past Iíve only been able to grow cacti, their perseverance constantly amazes me, their ability to adapt to my temperate backyard, often rainy or frosty, springing back to life for our parched summers. As far as vegetables, or temperamental flowers Iím at a loss. I canít wait to learn.
I remember as a kid walking with my mom, littler brother and dog, down to the victory garden near our house, people tending their small, twine parceled plots, the garden itself was built by the city during World War 2 to improve morale and conserve veggies for the troops. I remember the care and precision people would put into a four by four square of dirt, little rows, tiny trellises, the slow progression from vine to bean.
Now bonsai gardening is a far cry from vegetable in your front yard, but in reality it’s only as different as you want it to be. The same physical needs of the plant apply. In fact gardening is not so different from mindfulness practice in general. Growing as a human being, growing in emotional and physical awareness is similar to the fruition of fruit. Neither will be attained without patient intent. A flower will wither and never bloom without water and sun, the blossom is not inherent in the stem. The same is true for people, although the potential for mindful awareness exist it doesnít come to the surface without patient intent.
There are some easy to incorporate ways to use a garden to cultivate mindfulness, even a potted cactus.
When you look at your plants, take notice of whether they are simply surviving, or if they thrive under your diligent care. We can ask ourselves this same question at this time.
We can see an all together too hot day or frosty morning and learn to accept things that we canít control, like the weather, but appreciate how it is those same random variables that make our lives and the live of our plants possible.
When you are elbow deep in the soil, pulling weeds or harvesting, and your face in buried in some aromatic leaves purely by proximity, think on your breathing, remember that you and the plant are engaged in an exchange. You breath out, your green buddy breaths in.
We water and till and weed for the sight and smell of their flowers, and the nourishment and taste of their fruit. take the time to think about this exchange, and the lives lead by our plants and ourselves.
A radical experiment into the nature of the brain is one step closer to thought. Blue Brain is a molecule by molecule computer recreation of part of a mammalian brain. An initial stage of the research, mapping and simulating the neocortical column, an area utilized in higher brain function and thought, is complete and now they are putting it into a virtual body to see how it reacts.
The idea of digital consciousness provokes disbelief and sometimes disgust at the concept of a laughably diluted digital consciousness.
Can a computer simulation of a brain ever produce real consciousness, or even original thought, and what would it think and how would it feel in its virtual body?
More importantly, what will this simulated brain tell us about physical consciousness, if anything?
I believe it will eventually tell us volumes about the brain and want to believe it will give us insights into the mind, if it doesn’t explain it away completely. Maybe answering some of the neurologists basic questions and certainly open the door on a new unexplored corridor of quandaries about the separation of brain and mind for the philosophers.
Perhaps a scaled down version of the mind will posses total awareness, Buddha mind like yogis and (maybe) dogs. Or will it be an over engineered, highly complex, atom for atom, computer simulation with nothing more to say to us but the very specific rules and code they painstakingly programmed into it. i.e. Will it simple tell us what we all ready know.
The researchers at Blue Brain Project and one emminent post-humanist scientist Ray Kurzweil believes we can simulate the mind, and so do I. when we do it will not in any way diminish the wonder or awe inspiring complexity of consciousness, the more we know, I am sure, the more incredible it will be. if it is mechanically simple, philosophical ponderances as well as biological ones will still present themselves. And it will happen as the leading Blue Brain Project scientist put it, “The psychology is there today and the technology is there today. It’s a matter of if society wants this. If they want it in 10 years, they’ll have it in 10 years. If they want it in 1000 years, we can wait.” Some people can’t wait, people like Le Trung of Project Aiko, a kinda scary female android built in Canada, of course.
And as far from consciousness as that may be, there will be a day when we have to look into the eyes of some form of man made consciousness and look into ourselves to see what is still there.
This or subsequent experiments are going to cast a bright light onto our unclear understanding of who or what it means to actually be an ego in the body. If the basic constituents of human consciousness can be assembled out of a material other than our own biological components then it makes a strong case for materialism. Whichever philosophical side wins, everyone of us will still have to experience consciousness, day to day, despite the ramifications of the success or failure of attempts at creating artificial intelligence. To what extent we are aware of and appreciate that consciousness and the body it inhabits, is entirely up to us.
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