Intentional Happiness

June 19, 2009 at 4:03 am · Filed under anchoring, goals, happiness

There is something to being genuinely happy.  It’s a feeling, but its also a pair of lenses that color the world to contented eyes.  Some days I dive right out of bed.  My feet skid as I fill my coffee cup and burst out the door, challenging the day to hit me with the best it’s got.  There are other mornings when I meet the sun with glum acceptance.  Sometimes we really have to make a conscious effort to get up and have a freaking awesome day.

What do we actually do to make that happen.  What do we tell ourselves to get over out of that rut. There are a host of subtle and not so subtle cues our bodies and minds will take heed of.  Cues we can use to change a negative set of physiological and emotional sensations positive.

The problem, and solution is the dualistic nature of being a conscious being.  When we are unhappy and talk ourselves into a better mood, who did we talk to and who did the talking, and which place wanted to be happy, and which area was slowly convinced out of the doldrums of depression.

I’m not going down the neurological/neurochemical road.  There are plenty of studies on serotonin, dopamine, even vitamin D and omega threes and their respective effects on our mind and mood.  I also don’t want to go into the philosophical who’s who of the whole duality paradox.

Rather, I wanted to talk about the techniques and outlook I use to stay in a positive perspective.  That’s not to say, wear a stupid grin all day as everything around me falls apart.  I’m not talking about denial and acceptance of bad situations or passivity.  A positive outlook might not always mean gleeful, but it does mean forward thinking as opposed to forlorn.

First of all we all have crappy days from time to time.

At least we may wake up that way.  Once the first tentative toe ventures out of bed we have to make a choice.  It seems cliche to say focus on the positive.  And it’s not constructive to ignore the negative.  When we find ourselves in a situation that makes us unhappy, the key is to focus on the fact there is always an exit, an escape route.  The simple act of looking for and discovering the exit, that inevitably exists, is a constructive and enjoyable process.  This might start as a simple goal, the idea will grow in our minds. In its abstract state it can be hard to keep it in focus.

Construct an ideograph

I am not an artist by nature.  Making my hand produce the shapes and forms I envision in my mind is something I have never really mastered, or even become passable proficient.  When I do create art it is often to give shape to an abstract goal or aspiration I have rolled over and over in my head with out a solution presenting itself.  I create an image to concisely represent what I want to express or achieve.  Focusing on the image allows my brain to find new ways to think about the situation.  I can build on the idea conceptually instead of logically, unhindered by what I think I know.

Our earliest ancestors may well have used this

technique to gain confidence before their daily trials

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Give your escape route an image, be it a new job; apartment; direction, something you can call on to invoke a positive perspective.  Make sure the ideograph is something solid you can keep clear in your mind.  Sketch it roughly from time to time.  Add to your image as your idea grows.  I like to fill mine with symbolic imagery.  Maybe a thorn bush to represent adversity, or a mountain peak as a representation of a goal I want to attain.  Feel free to be more creative, or cornier, whatever works for you, that’s the important thing.  These images are yours, you don’t necessarily have to display them, they can even exist solely in your mind and have no physical state.  They just have to be strong enough and clear enough to be useful to you.

This is not a Secret

There is nothing magical about this image, nor is there anything metaphysical about the intention that will bring you closer to your goal.  There is, however the real effect of conscious intent spurring actions that moves one towards an aspiration.  I can ask the universe for something that I want, but to actually get it, I have to realize that the only component of the cosmos I can count on and control, is me.

Anchoring a nebulous concept or goal to a clear picture allows me to keep and build on an abstract idea in my head.  As you work on the image, either in your mind or on paper, the symbols become ingrained and the idea can form in the back of your mind with out being bogged down by details or by our insecurities.  As the image becomes clearer and more defined in your mind new avenues and intricacies will become obvious.

Focus on the negative, and let it propel you to your goal

What ever the external source of the unhappiness, there is a solution.  The origin of our misery can often be the conscious denial of the obvious way out.  It may be the fear looking for and not finding a new job that keeps us in one we hate.  The simple fact that the door is right in front of our face makes us hate the job we have all the more.  It is the fear of making those tough long term decisions that can create so much of our suffering.

There is no situation our minds led us into that our brains can’t get ourselves out of.  Sometimes we have to make a tough decision, sometimes our situation must become more unpleasant for a time before it improves.

The power of an image is that its sums up in our heads an entire, sometime seemingly insurmountable, situation.  There is a time and place for logical planning and sober calculation.  When you hit a wall in that line of thinking, as we all sometimes do, or when the solution is right in front of us and we have to call upon an inner strength or ingenuity, some abstraction can get us thinking of the situation in a new, positive way, from a more productive perspective.

–Matt

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Happiness and Mindfulness

May 8, 2009 at 12:04 pm · Filed under attention, focus, gratefulness, meditation, mindfulness, relaxation, stress reduction

“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.”
Henry David Thoreau

Take a moment to imagine your own personal little ‘happy me’. Your own, one of a kind, internal representation of the success you’re striving for in life. Most of us have some idea of how we’re going to look once we’ve achieved some level of success in our life. Maybe you have one image, or a handful, take a second here to actually look at them objectively, or as objectively as possible.

When we imagine the stereotypical ‘happy me’ walking down the street, basking in the glory of our own joy… whats so different about that person in your imagination?

Does happy me have a stronger body? more hair?
Maybe you can’t see it in the picture but does happy me have a college PhD? or some kind of fancy new business title to be pleased about?

what is it about this happiness idol in your mind that differenciates them from you? and will that thing really make you happy?

Mindfulness and Happiness

How much of your own potential happiness that your experiencing RIGHT NOW goes unnoticed, while you unconsciously derive a little burst of motivation from imagining someone else your going to be in the future. We stoke little flames of delusion that keep us going and give us an excuse for our lack of presence right now. We have to do more than understand intellectually, we need to deeply realize for ourselves that the past is over, and the future can’t be dealt with in any meaningful way until it becomes the present.

What does it mean to do something consciously as opposed to unconsciously.

I think its important to always remember that mindfulness as a concept or idea is really just the base state of human satisfaction.

Think about, when your dwelling on something someone said, or something that might happen in the future, by the very nature of your actions your declaring that you aren’t interested or don’t want to be in this moment. Your investing your mental energy entirely in the future or the past and the present moment goes by in a sleepy, unintentional haze.

The times in every day human life when we are naturally focused on the present moment always goes hand in hand with the sensation of being deeply grateful or deeply satisfied. Seeing your children after a long day at work, the post coital glow of making love, the sense of absorption some of us feel when doing a job we love.

It only makes sense that learning to shut off your internal chatter would leave you in a non-comparing state of mind, which by its very nature must be a satisfied state of mind. Try to remember in the coming days the importance of staying in the moment and focusing on what is in front of you. Not just so you can bring your total energy and awareness to the task at hand, but also because letting go of the past and future means finding the joy that is already present in the now.

-Chris

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