There’s a been a lot of talking, blogging, etc. recently about hacks and tweaks we can use to get more out of, and have more control over our time and our lives, but I think there’s something to be said for being out of control, sometimes. Not running a muck in the streets, but rather appreciating the times where we don’t have that much sought after control over our time and place.
One example I can think of would be just a week or so ago when I crossed the country to see the Florida side of my family. Flying there to meet them presented an opportunity to abandon the illusion of complete control. Once I began my journey I gave up my control over my time and place. I had made the choices that brought me to that improbable seat, blazing across the sky at a few hundred miles an hour.
But once in the sky I was completely at the will of circumstance. In reality happened much earlier. Upon entering the airport my rights were waved and my control was relinquished. Even earlier than that I was on the shuttle to the airport where my fate was largely dictated by the driver and even to some extent by the state of other drivers around and for miles ahead of us. My helplessness didn’t ever enter into my mind, I just read comfortably and enjoyed the fact I didn’t have to keep my eyes on the road or sky. Even waiting in the airport I felt free, sick of watching news, but I had no obligations, none I could fulfill anyway. I couldn’t really even get any work done.
Certain situations readily allow me to give up that control, and really relax. During my delightful trip I missed a connection and became waylaid in the Atlanta airport, what’s that old joke… “when you die, no matter if you’re going to heaven or hell you still have to go through the Atlanta airport.”, anyway, I had hours and hours to watch cable news and drink coffee before the next connecting flight. I saw a lot of people in a similar situation, some people seemed to be enjoying it as much as I was, others hated it. They paced, pestered the poor gate attendant, made phone calls to loved ones and acquaintances to lament and modify plans, and still got to where ever they were going at the same time the calmer passengers did. Maybe thay had more pressing plans, maybe they were on the run, but most likely they just really WANTED to get to their destination and hated the inconvenience, and loathed not being able to do anything about it.
Here’s a delay much worse than mine.
Relinquishing this power is illuminating, if not even enjoyable. Not enjoyable because I’m a masochist or because I like waiting in lobbies in strange cities, but rather it was an agreeable exercise in giving up control over my time and place to some extent. Being productive means allotting time for work, creativity, family, and yourself. That You time is time to be out of control, to do that responsibly we have to have the rest of our time managed to some extent. I talked about this a bit in “Externalize Your Mind”, being ‘on’ 24/7 is neither healthy nor a productive long term paradigm. There are many other times all though out our day when we don’t have complete self determination, at work, on the road, and if we are at our core uncomfortable with that fact, we are crippled in our efforts to enjoy and get the most out of life.
When to give in:
When things are automated. If the gears are running, ie. the wing are being de-iced or what have you, experts are on the job. Automation can also refer to when your plan is made, hatched, and you could sit, sweat and tweak it, or you can let it go. Another example is when you have that goal in your mind, the seeds have been planted, and all you can do is stay on course and watch what happens. Trust the actions and choices you have made to bring you to this point. You can evaluate them, but sweating over them is useless.
Traps:
The Illusions of Imprisonment – Sometimes we think we have no control when in reality we have willfully given up that power. If one hates their job or where they live and consider themselves “stuck”, they are usually free to go and improve their situation at will, but are to afraid to leave their self-constructed prison, unless it really is prision. The unincarcerated have alot of freedom to un-stick themselves.
This young man is a sad example of theimprisonment illusion, please excuse the harsh language at the end.
False Productivity: Distracting ourselves with the illusion of productivity by doing anything we think might have an effect instead of doing the things that matter. Sometimes when we have no control because we HAVE TO focus on one thing, and I am guilty of this, we do every little thing we can to excercise some control, like the passengers who berate the attendance when no one can get the plane moving any faster.
So when in life do we have any control at all? We have to make the decision to get out of bed. There is no easier way to do that then when we can being present in your moment and enjoying it. In one way or another we are all stuck in our moment and when can realize that every moment is equally important we can accept our time and place not as compulsory but rather the result of a string of conscious choices we have made and become ok with having made them.
If You’ve ever been up late watching T.V. you have probably seen five or six commercials for different sleep aids. Forty million people in America alone are reported to have chronic sleep disorders. Thirty million more report intermittent sleep difficulties. Itís not all surprising that so many people are affected, between all the thoughts circling around in our heads from work and our personal life. The general pace the outside word is moving at has made it difficult to slow our brains down at the end of the day and convince them it is time for sleep.
However, using awareness techniques you can get great sleep every night, and even fall asleep on long flights or when your neighbors are having a raging party and you have to be at work at six in the morning. Here is one technique for easy sleep, an easy self hypnosis technique, popularized by Milton H. Erickson, actually invented by his wife Betty.[singlepic id=37 w=320 h=240 float=right]
-Lay in your bed/ plane seat / boring lecture. Focus on three things in your field of vision. Shift your awareness as fully as you can from one to the other, take in one fully, and slowly move on to the next.
-Focus on three things you can hear, listen to each one, experience the sound and shift your hearing to another.
-Now concentrate on things you can feel in your body. Remember to divert your focus as much as possible from your external senses and feel individual sensation from within.
-Move through the series again with only two visual, auditory, and tactile.
-Next concentrate on only one thing you can see, one thing you can hear and only one thing you feel
-Close your eyes.
-Imaging a visual images concentrate on it, see it fully. Now imagine a sound, imagine a sensation in your body concentrate on it.
-Now two imagined visual, two imagined sounds, and two imagined sensations.
-if you are still awake at this point, i.e. the party next door goes critical, you can proceed to three visual, three auditory, and three tactile imagined sensations but it almost never takes a third round. There are many meditative/self hypnosis techniques that will work as well or better then pills, with no side effects or dependency and they are all 100% free.[singlepic id=36 w=320 h=240 float=right]
Sweet Dreams
Five days a week most of us go to the same places to do basically the same things. The same co-workers share the space, the same snacks are in the break room. Whether or not you love your job, and no matter how novel and exciting everyday might be, incorporating mindfulness practice into oneís daily routine is easy and will show immediate benefits.
Finding time to be aware of yourself actually being at work is easy, the busier and more stressful your day is the more opportunities you will have and the more beneficial the practice will be. Stress is a well known physiological instigator for many disorders and injuries off and on the job. If you pour molten steel or ponder policy in a think tank forty hours a week, being aware of your breathing is going to keep down injuries and keep you a lot happier Monday mornings.
Why do so many of us prefer to zone out and go on auto-pilot (shameless) at work, fast-forwarding to 5:00, and most importantly, what effect does this have on our professional personal and emotion lives? Awareness of our surroundings and especially of our body as an physical, emotional entity is crucial to being productive and genuinely enjoying yourself and ‘the daily grind’. That reminds me The Daily Mind is a great resource for more corporate inspired mindfulness.
Step One Remember to Breathe And remember that you are breathing, take a moment to remind yourself that you are alive. feel the air moving through you nose, experience your chest rising and falling. Take stock of yourself as an organism, not a cog, if just for a moment.
Inhale, let the phone ring an extra time, exhale, let the copier masticate your memo.
Step Two Be Mindful of Your Surroundings The work place are a home away from home for many of us, not in the quaint ‘home sweet home’ sense, but rather that we sped a large percentage of our waking hours there financing a place we seem to see less and less of. When it comes to your desk or work space keep it simple, manageable, and come to the understanding that your immediate space might be a factor in your overall sense of well being. Getting organized is a start.
Sunlight and air is the final ingredient, easy for those in a corner office with big windows, or if you work in construction. Anybody locked in a cube or under florescent lights may not easily attain this luxury. In this case you have to make breaks a priority, sunlight provides vital vitamin d, a deficiency of which can lead to neurological and physical ailments, so if you or your boss need a reason, there it is.
Step Three Accept Your Co-Workers Much in the same way we cannot choose our family, most of us cant choose our co-workers. We can, however come to accept and respect even the most obnoxious of them. Really listen to them. Find areas of agreement. Relate to them as people not the image of them you see every day, judge them in the moment without the emotional anchors you have associated with them, identify those anchors and take control.
We all spend way too much time at work to be miserable or even cress-fallen. No one will ever pay you what your time is really worth so you have to make it worth every second.
**Special note to those who work in retail or customer service**
Hell doesn’t have to be other people, take these steps, retreat and repeat.
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